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When Did It Get Easier?

I’m often asked if things are easier now and when they got easier, so when I saw the Question of the Week over at Multiples and More was all about things getting easier, I just knew I had to participate!

I have a pretty stock answer I give people when I’m asked if things are easier. “I wouldn’t just say things are easier, they’re different.” The birth of Lily hasn’t really changed my answer either – I answer the same way now that I did 6 months ago, a year ago and 2 years ago. Things aren’t easier, they’re just different.

Granted, the first four months of the boys life were brutal. Nick and I remember very little of what happened in that time frame (thank goodness for the blog!) because the sleep deprivation was so bad. Once we got the boys on a nap schedule and sleeping through the night (all happened before 5 months of age) things improved dramatically.

After the sleep issues were taken care of the regular, day to day hard stuff included keeping 3 babies happy, dry and fed. Days were long and exhausting.

As the boys became more and more mobile the challenge was keeping them safe while letting them explore and test their new-found independence.

As they become full blown toddlers the challenges start to creep up when you’re out in public. Any parent of any number of kids is probably nodding along with this one… They want to ride in the cart, they don’t want to ride in the cart, they want to ride in the stroller, now they want to be carried, they don’t want to put that bag of Cheetos back, and on and on. Tell them “no, you’re doing what I want not what you want” and you have the privilege of shopping with a screaming child(ren). That last option was always the one I selected and it was a good time. At this age the boys were also wanting to be more independent at home by trying to dress themselves. It would take them forever to put a pair of pants on, but they were insistent that they do it and were so proud when they did.

As they became preschoolers and *gasp* 3 year olds (the stage I’m in now) they throw around their attitude more and push buttons more, but are generally (note, I said “generally”) more agreeable out in public. One three year old is bad enough but 3 of them at the same time is brutal! I now know I never want to be a preschool teacher. Ha!

So are  things easier? Depends on if you’re just looking at certain aspects (sleep deprivation, attitude, etc) or if you’re looking at the whole picture. I tend to measure things on exhaustion levels and instead of being physically exhausted all the time (although I am dealing with that again thanks to Lily), I’m emotionally exhausted all the time.

Who knows, maybe there’s a period when multiples are in early elementary school that things are officially “easier”. I’m not banking on it though, nor do I really care. This is life for me and so I just move along and deal with things as they come. If I thought about how “hard” things were all the time I’d likely lock myself in my room and never exit. Instead I choose to make the best of things and not think about the possible limits or challenges I have ahead of me!

  • April 3, 2011 - 10:07 am

    Andrea - Vety well said….the independence does put a whole other stress factor in the equation. Like you said it is all worth it and I will take it! Like we both said sleep makes all the difference in being able to handle it! Take care!ReplyCancel

  • April 3, 2011 - 10:41 am

    Kelly - I totally agree and it’s nice to hear it from someone else that really knows!! Now that my boys are 15 months I always get the question: Are you busier now than before because they’re walking? The answer, Not busier, just a different kind of busy!! I wouldn’t trade it for the world, this is our life! My new favorite response when people say “wow you must be busy” is “you have no idea!”.
    Thanks for letting me tag along in your journey as mine is approx 2 years behind you (although I certainly won’t be adding the newborn).ReplyCancel

  • April 3, 2011 - 10:49 am

    Barb - I especially love your last two sentences – so true! Our triplets just started sleeping through the night which has really been a turning point for us; how I missed my sleep 🙂ReplyCancel

  • April 3, 2011 - 11:49 am

    Liz Barber - I think it’s nice to think that things will get easier as kids mature and develop but I just see it as new challenges, new stages and me as the parent having to readjust how I handle it and approach it.
    I really enjoyed reading your post. My boys are only 2 right now but I’m loving it and when I’m not loving it I’m asking God and my hubby for help! LOL!ReplyCancel

  • April 3, 2011 - 8:10 pm

    Safire - I agree! It only changes with time. My twins are also 3 (almost) and it’s so frustrating to take them out. But rewarding too. Just like the feeling when they were both sleeping as infants.ReplyCancel

  • April 3, 2011 - 9:01 pm

    Angela Price - My triplets (2 boys and a girl) are going to be 3 in September. Right there with you on the screaming kid part. We also have a 9 year old boy. He is wonderful with them and helps out so much. He makes our lives a little easier with the 3 little ones. They love their big bubba. Some days they can be so great and that is when I love them the most. The other days when they drive me up the wall I just want to have a calgon moment. Have you started to potty train? I am not sure I can deal with it right now. May wait till it gets warm out and try the outside potty training. We live in a rural area, so that is not a problem. I guess I am looking for some tips on that one. Enjoy your little ones, I know I do. 🙂ReplyCancel

    • April 3, 2011 - 9:07 pm

      Helen - Angela, we actually potty trained the boys about a month before they turned 2. Only one of them stays dry consistently at night right now, but all three have been day time trained for well over a year. We staggered the boys all a week apart and started with the one who showed the most potential. Switched to underwear and didn’t look back! First one trained in 4 days (including having 13 accidents before NOON on day 1!) and the other two took closer to 2 weeks to really “get” it. Good luck!ReplyCancel

  • April 4, 2011 - 7:11 am

    Helen@Baby Shoes - Triplets must be really tough at times but, very rewarding too I’l bet!ReplyCancel

  • April 5, 2011 - 1:11 pm

    Christy - Helen: You amaze me with your grace. You are who I think of when I think two (not twins either) are difficult. Though with Shane’s extreme hot and cold and strong-willed behavior, I feel like I have more than one 3 year old! My motto as of late, as I watch and wonder what temperment Joey is and at times panic of the thought of two strong-willed kids, is God would never give me more than I could handle. He knows I can do it and it is up to me to know that I can do it as well. Thank you for showing us all that we can do it!ReplyCancel

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