What a Weird Time

Today is the 14th day the kids and I been at home, and Nick’s 3rd day of working from home. We’ve gone on some walks (the weather has largely been crummy), the kids have gone for some car rides, and I’ve been to the store a handful of times. This is such a weird time.

Those that know me well, know I am a very half glass full kind of person. I see the best, hope for the best, and like to encourage others to do the same. I also rarely struggle with worry or anxiety, which I know is such a blessing.

The first time I went to the store (4 days in), after things really started to go crazy but before the official stay home order came down in Kansas City, I had my first time of truly feeling incredibly anxious. I was there at night and discovered empty shelf after empty shelf. I knew there had been a run on TP, but I was floored by what I encountered.

I suddenly found my stomach in knots, and a panic came over me. Calm, cool, collected Helen was anxious.

Anxious at the lack of food I had hoped to find. Anxious at the thought of inadvertently catching or transmitting the illness. Anxious for the people who feel this level of anxiety all the time, especially those that are food insecure. Anxious for my own business, and what this could do to it. I was spiraling, right there in the cereal aisle of Target, and spiraling fast.

“Pull it together, Helen“, I kept telling myself… and then a song entered my heart, and I hummed it over and over to myself as I finished my shopping. The worship teams at our church wrote and released an amazing song last fall, called There’s a Peace I’ve Come to Know. You can view the video of it here on their Facebook page. I’ve listened to it on repeat quite a lot lately, as it brings me a whole lot of peace and helps center me again.

Now that we’re settling into this weird, new normal, I’m not as anxious as I was before. I still worry a bit about my business, Faces You Love, but am doing my best to stay afloat by selling discounted gift cards (for future sessions), hosting online camera classes, applying for a small business loan, and other ideas I keep brainstorming. I’ve also found myself thrown back into the world of copywriting, which I hadn’t done since pregnant with the boys 13 years ago! It doesn’t pay a lot, but it’s something and every little something helps right now. (Even if just to go buy ice cream for a treat!)

The kids are handling this all remarkably well. Last week was their Spring Break anyway, and while they were bummed to spend it at home instead of out doing fun things around Kansas City, they understood. There was some sadness when the 30 day order came out over the weekend, as they miss their friends and school terribly, but they’ve bounced back and are making the best of things.

We already were a family that ate most dinners together, so now we’re adding new things like an afternoon tea time, more board games, kids making dinners and desserts, and other creative fun! They’re mixing in distance learning school work now, which adds “something to do” to the long days, and Ty even built himself a boat in the basement! (I’ll share about the boat tomorrow – promise!)

We’re living in such a weird, unique time. A time I hope we never face again in this lifetime. Until this weird time is over, we’ll recognize the personal growth and endurance we’ll all build, and look forward to time with family and connecting with friends in creative ways.