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Stuff Kids Wreck

To people who have yet to produce any off-spring, or their off-spring are still very young -

This post is to serve as a warning to you. A warning that few things are “safe” in your house when children are about.

Exhibit A:

Dishes and anything else that’s glass. Obviously this is a no-brainer. You probably guessed that anything remotely breakable and children do not mix. On Monday Jackson broke first this plate at lunch and then a bowl at dinner. See, whoever is Kid of the Day gets to use glass dishes and cups for the day. 9 times out of 10 everything survives the day, but Jackson was having an exceptionally butter-fingery day on Monday. *sigh* I love these dishes too. They were the set I registered for when Nick and I got married, and we’ve now had all 8 salad size plates, 5 bowls and 5 plates break.

For those of you that are shaking your heads now and saying “Silly mom for giving her children breakable plates – of course they’ll break! My dishes will stay whole because I won’t give them to my children.”, let me warn you… Flying balls and other objects also will cause breakage! I’ve lost many things to debris flying through the air and knocking something off the drying rack.

Exhibit B:

Not only do you re-organized and cut down on the amount of furniture you have (after all, coffee tables are prime launching pads for wild children and we need room for all of their “stuff”), but the items you leave out probably won’t survive your child’s early years. Better come to grips with that now, people.

Do you see how sad our couch is? The way the fabric has ripped back, it’s like we have a new Pit of Despair. Stuff just randomly falls down there. Lost the remote? Check inside the couch. Lost a Wii controller? Check inside the couch. Lost a cup? Check inside the couch.

Yeah, those springs aren’t supposed to be like that. I don’t even know how they got like that! Don’t even think about sitting on the middle cushion of our couch or you’ll likely fall into the giant hole. Now where did Lily go?

Exhibit C:

It is sad, but true… even the walls of your home aren’t safe. This huge “dent” was courtesy of some rather wild rough-housing. The details are fuzzy, but I can’t remember if that one was caused by a chair or a head. I know we have dents in the house from both.

Exhibit D:

I’ll spare you a picture of our gross carpet and leave it at this – small children, potty training, puking, spilled green apple slushes and carpets do not mix. It’s like a petri dish, I tell ya!

We won’t even get into the toys and books that are supposed to be durable enough to survive childhood, yet rarely do. That’s a whole other animal! For now, batten down the hatches of your house, hold on and make do. And remember, if you come to our house, don’t sit in the middle of the couch!

 

  • January 11, 2012 - 2:57 pm

    Nellie Bragg - We lost some of our “wedding china,” too, when the children were small. It was worth the experience, though.:-) Also, we waited through all those years before we did anything with the carpet. I don’t know how some people with small children seem to continually have a magazine-picture house.:-)ReplyCancel

    • January 11, 2012 - 8:00 pm

      Helen - The magazine-picture houses must be Photoshopped, Nellie ;) ReplyCancel

  • January 11, 2012 - 4:53 pm

    Susan - My boys are 9 and 7 and we are finally ready to repaint and re-carpet our home. That said…they love to play knee hockey inside and it does a number on the walls, so the painting may wait…at least in that room. Like you, we had a couch with a seat to te abyss! We warned all of our guests to avoid that seat! ~SusanReplyCancel

    • January 11, 2012 - 8:00 pm

      Helen - Ha! Love that others have dangerous couch cushions! ;) ReplyCancel

  • January 12, 2012 - 12:27 pm

    Gretchen - I think we have that same set of dishware from our wedding registry as well. We’ve managed to keep most of the plates intact, but the bowls seem to keep chipping and that’s from mostly my husband and me. :) I get by on a lot of denial about what’s actually in our carpet at this point! Hopefully our couch will last a few more years. Our three are just a bit younger then your boys, so we have a long way to go before they are more human and less “monkey”. ;-) ReplyCancel

  • January 13, 2012 - 9:09 am

    pop pop - HELP ! I sat in the middle of your couch and I can’t get up… I love your relaxed attitude about the “stuff” in your house. You realize what is important in life ! I see so many parents that are so uptight about their “stuff” and it causes a ton of fighting and stress. Mom and I are SO proud of you and Nick !ReplyCancel

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