Things are not all sunshine and roses over here lately. In fact, it’s kinda matched the Kansas City weather we’ve had this month – a lot of rain and stormy skies. We’ve been having the kind of days where I want to just curl up in the corner and mumble “I love my kids. I love my kids. I love my kids.” over and over.
I’m going to be honest – there’s been so much yelling, fighting, and crying this week that I’m officially dreading that tomorrow is the last day of school (and only a 3 hour day at that!). I should be excited about the Last Day of School tradition we started last year, and then checking off our Summer Bucket List, but instead of looking forward to it, I’m dreading it.
What if they keep fighting?
What if they continue to not listen?
What if I keep yelling and wanting to cry?
The other day I was so fed up with not being listened to, that I turned and started talking to a kitchen cabinet, because I figured it would generate about the same response as talking to my kids (specifically the 7 year olds). True story.
Clearly I’m losing it.
I know they’re excited and wound up about the end of the school year. I know they aren’t behaving this way for teachers and adults at church, for which I am insanely grateful. I know they’re good kids. This has just been an epically crappy week… and it’s only Thursday.
I need an extra dose of grace right now. Grace for them, because I know their tiny little brains can only process and handle so much, and there’s a lot going on right now. Grace for me, because I’m not a complete screw-up of a mom and everyone has their bad days.
I know that something beautiful can and will come from all of this rain, but my gosh, it’s hard to focus on that right now. All my head wants to focus on is how desperately I want a vacation…. by myself!
Today I’ll be forcing myself to focus on what is good in my life – my wonderful husband, my silly Lily, and my sweet and caring boys. A dog that drives us crazy and makes us laugh all at the same time, a roof over our heads and that our basement hasn’t been too wet, considering all of the rain we’ve had. Money to buy groceries and clothes for our growing kids. Fun family time ahead this summer, and that my boys had an amazing school year with fantastic friends and teachers.
With some focus on what’s good and right in my life, and grace for my behavior and the behavior of my kids, I can and will turn this week around.
I will turn it around.