Bitterness, Party of One

My life is not all cupcakes and roses, in fact rarely are those items even present in my life. Yes, I’m blessed with three healthy, hilarious and adorable boys. Yes, I have a wonderful husband who does way more work around the house and with the kids than it seems most husbands do. Yet even with those tremendous blessings I allow bitterness and discontentment to work it’s way into my heart every now and then.

I’m bitter about driving 2 small cars, one of which is very old, when families with fewer kids (or even the same number of kids!) get to drive sweet minivans.

I’m bitter about not having a nice camera to take pictures of my kids with. Photography is something I am so interested in and yet I can only do so much with my little point and shoot and Photoshop. It kills me to hear of people with a nice DSLR sitting in their closest for months, still in the box because they just haven’t gotten around to opening it. Kills me! (And yes, I heard someone say that.)

I’m bitter about wearing clothes on a regular basis that are 8-10 years old. Yes I have a few newer pieces but obviously not enough to prevent me from wearing old, holey clothes still. I only have a few things that are suitable for leaving the house in.

I’m bitter about constantly mopping pee off the floors and cleaning poop out of underwear. It’s been almost 4 weeks now of potty training and I’ve had enough. Thankfully Chase is “done” and Jackson rarely has an accident but Tyler will probably be a long trainer like Jackson was, so it’s depressing to think I probably have another week of mopping pee off the floor 6 times a day.

I’m bitter that Nick and I don’t get to out alone very often.

I’m bitter when Nick gets to head off to work, complete meaningful tasks, have the satisfaction of completing those tasks and gets to engage in adult conversation.

I’m bitter that we live what seems to some people as “so far away” from the church and most of our friends. (It’s only 10-15 minutes but when a variety of stores are only 5 minutes away I guess 10-15 is an obscene distance to travel.)

I’m bitter that I have to come up with something for dinner every single night. What I wouldn’t give to just be able to have pizza delivered or say “let’s just go out” once in a while!

Ugh. What a downer of a post. Let me try to bring some perspective to my life…

  • Last month we paid off the remainder of my student loan – 4 years early!
  • We’re making headway on paying off Nick’s student loan and when that’s gone the only debt we’ll have will be the house.
  • We have money in savings and don’t need to freak out over dumping $850 into a car one week (which we did 3 weeks ago).

Because we don’t have a texting plan, cable, a new car, a bigger house, eat out, order food in or have new clothes we don’t have to stress about money like many people do. I guess I’d rather whine about not having those things once in a while than to whine about not having enough money to keep the bill collectors away.

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