This past weekend I learned something. I’m being refined. I’m walking through fire and I’ll come out the other side better than I was before. Let me back up a bit though…
This weekend we started a new sermon series at our church called After the Fire. The bulk of the sermons will be about the things we should have and should still be learning about the recession and how we can change our own habits. This first sermon (which you can watch here) was about being caught in the fire and relating that to all the folks in the Bible who walked through fire (some quite literally) and then finding hope in the ashes. I wasn’t sure how much I’d get out of this sermon series as I feel like the economy hasn’t affected Nick and me that much. We were already living on a budget, already had a good amount in savings “just in case” and Nick still had his job. I was surprised then, when the end of the sermon spoke so much to me as a mom.
Towards the end the pastor was mentioning how just because you are a follower of Jesus does not mean you are exempt from bad things. He said we all will walk through fire at one point in our lives. The fire may not be a total devastation (like a huge forest fire), but we will walk through fire. That got me thinking and at first I thought “well, I still haven’t walked through fire so I wonder when it’s going to happen”. Then I thought a few minutes longer and it dawned on me.
In my life as a SAHM I am walking through little brush fires on a weekly (and sometimes daily!) basis and I am coming out the other end better than I was before. Brush fires – like a particularly trying morning with a crabby, tantruming 2 year old. Brush fires – like an entire day with three disobedient, tantruming toddlers. You get the idea.
Just a week ago today, after putting the boys down for their nap I collapsed on the couch in tears and wondered if I was truly cut out to be a SAHM. The boys were wearing heavily on my patience and I had completely lost it on them just 15 minutes earlier. After having a couple of hours to regroup I came out more resolved to step up my patience. You know what? I’ve had that pep talk with myself A LOT over the last 2 years and I have to believe that each time I’ve had it I have come out more patience in the end. Huh, I guess I’m walking through the fires and coming out better than I was before!