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Affirmation

Back when Nick and I were “discussing” whether or not to have another baby, I had one reoccurring thought… If we did not have another child, I knew I was going to have a rough time (emotionally) when the boys all started school, all went off to high school and even worse, all went off to college. Talk about empty nest issues! Each milestone would have been bittersweet because while we would proud of the boys’ latest accomplishment, there would also be sadness and regret that it was the only time we would live through that moment (except for potty training – I would have been fine only living through that once).

Saturday night, as I was leaving church with the boys (Nick had to slip out early to pick his dad up at the airport, so I was solo) I had an interesting, 4 minute conversation about all of this. The boys were getting ready to dash out the doors when a man asked me if the boys were all brothers. I said “yes, they are” and he then asked if they were the same age. I replied in the affirmative again and expected him just to say “wow, that’s cool!” or something along those lines, but instead he said “I have triplets too”.

His triplets are two boys and a girl and are 13 years old. Only one of the trio was there with him and his wife.ย  He called his wife over so that she could meet me too and his wife immediately remarked how great it was that I was having another.

Hearing someone instantly say that it’s great that I’m having another is not normal. Most initial reactions are “you’re crazy!” or a more subtle version of that is “wow. Another one when you already have three?”. I’ve learned to roll with the comments and understand that in this 2 child society I probably do seem crazy. I’m sure my face lit up when this other mom of triplets affirmed my desire to have a 4th.

She mentioned that Saturday night was her son’s last time being an Acolyte at church and it made her sad that all three of her children have now aged out of that. After she chatted with the boys for a minute (asking their names and ages), she stood up, looked at me and said “You are going to be so glad you’re having a 4th. Not having another one is our (gesturing towards her husband) biggest regret.”

Wow. I thanked her for affirming my thoughts on the matter and headed into the parking lot even more grateful that this little “oops” (baby girl wasn’t planned, for those that are new to the blog) had happened. Yes, life will be even more chaotic than it is now. Sure, I’m going to be a walking zombie shortly. You know what though? I’m so excited about this new adventure! The boys absolutely cannot wait to meet “baby sister” and show her all their toys, take her to the zoo and “hold her at loud pops (fireworks) so that she doesn’t get scared”. Now we’re just holding out hope that one baby really will seem like a cake walk compared to the boys… ๐Ÿ™‚

  • January 10, 2011 - 9:49 am

    Renee - What a sweet story! Who cares what the peanut gallery thinks. As long as you’re enjoying it, it’s all good! ๐Ÿ™‚ReplyCancel

  • January 10, 2011 - 9:54 am

    Andie Zimmerman - Aw, I wish you didn’t get those comments about having more children. That breaks my heart that people would be so…rude? I think it’s great, whether planned or not…another after triplets, or not. Four is an even number. Those three boys will protect her and love her, as will you guys. She will be spoiled rotten! It really boils down to how you feel, not what others think of your situation. If you’re happy and excited, that is all that matters. I would have loved to have multiples, not just because I think it would be amazing, but a lot less work going in a birthing four separate children! Ha! Your boys are precious. Your baby girl will be a gift from God. Having a house full of children will not only keep you young, but fill your home with laughter, love, and life…not to mention a million, fun memories to hold on to forever. I only have two boys, but with my age and bad back, I may need to stop while I am ahead. I’d love to have more if I could, so good for you! And, I wish you all the happiness in the world. You deserve it!

    Andie
    http://zimmermlife.blogspot.comReplyCancel

    • January 10, 2011 - 9:59 am

      Helen - Thank you for your sweet words, Andie! They made this hormonal woman tear up ๐Ÿ™‚ReplyCancel

  • January 10, 2011 - 10:21 am

    Libby - I think it’s great. My single #5 was easier after twins but he is clingier than they were so it’s a trade off. I still am constantly holding someone…just the same one. (Also protecting him from too much brotherly love.) The peanut gallery can zip it. Even here where big families are the norm I still get people w/ no sensor…obviously I “don’t know what causes them” and I am “glad it’s me and not them too”. I can’t wait to see pictures of them holding her.ReplyCancel

  • January 10, 2011 - 10:40 am

    Andie Zimmerman - Oh, sorry! ๐Ÿ™ But, I mean every word!ReplyCancel

    • January 10, 2011 - 10:44 am

      Helen - Don’t be sorry! I cry during commercials too. LOL!ReplyCancel

  • January 10, 2011 - 11:39 am

    Aunt Sue - Ditto to those rude people! That can be your response to people when they question baby #4 – just tell them God knew you needed her! We are so excited to hear about the newest addition to the family! love you lots!ReplyCancel

  • January 10, 2011 - 4:08 pm

    christina - hello! i found your blog from another triplet mom’s. i’m currently 26 weeks along with my own spontaneous triplets (my first kids) and this post is a big affirmation for me! people instantly say things like “oh wow, just one time and you’re all done, how great” but i feel exactly how you described thinking of the triplets hitting all the same milestones at the same time and feeling bittersweet about just doing those things once. i usually don’t respond with any kind of answer one way or the other when people say things about us being done because i feel like they’ll think i’m crazy for saying i don’t want to be done yet. anyway, it feels really good to read your thoughts and finally see that someone understands that feeling. congrats on the new baby!ReplyCancel

  • January 11, 2011 - 11:33 pm

    Shelly Cunningham - I needed to hear this tonight. We have also embarked on a “Surprise Baby” adventure (I am due in June when our identical twins turn three) and I have been struggling with the surprise aspect of this pregnancy. The boys were planned- although the TWIN part was a shocker! I worry about how it will change our family dynamics and the fact that my husband doesn’t have a job currently.
    Reading this reminded me that God knows what He’s doing, and He knows me better than anyone. He knows that as the boys pass through phases, I will mourn not having access to that stage again. With baby #3 on the way, I will be given the gift of experiencing everything one more time.
    Thank you!ReplyCancel

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